This a problem which will never be easy to deal with. A couple who make the shattering discovery that Jesus views their marriage as adulterous are faced with an almost impossible choice.

The church which recognises the problem and wants to deal with it faithfully, must be prepared to shed tears with those involved. It is not just a question of telling a couple that they must separate, and then walking away. There will be a continuing responsibility to assist, perhaps for a lifetime, with the practical consequences.

However, if it is faced honestly that remarriage is adultery, and adultery is one of the many sins which are specifically mentioned as a barrier to entry to the kingdom of God, then the need becomes obvious. If we love Jesus at all; if we love those involved at all; it must be dealt with ...... for their sake, and ours.

For those who find it hard to accept that separation must be the answer, it will be helpful to remember that this is a situation which involves one of the most fundamental issues of real discipleship.

Jesus did say that there would be some who are called to celibacy for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. (Matt. 19:10-12)

Amongst this group are those who find they must choose between Jesus and a marriage which he calls adulterous, in order to settle the issue of discipleship one way or the other.

It is a hard saying. Few can receive it.

Of course, it is a decision which is not confined to those living in adultery. Even for those who are rightly married, it is one of the vital issues which must be resolved by all who want to follow Jesus.

Jesus said that unless we are prepared to give up all that we have, we cannot be disciples.
(Luke 14:33)

This cost can include :- Father, mother, WIFE, children, brothers, sisters, even life itself.
(Luke 14:26 & 18:29-30)

Even when a marriage is valid in God's sight, situations can arise where a decision to put Jesus first means the loss of all that men hold most precious.

A man who is not prepared to carry his own cross (sacrifice himself) to follow Jesus :-
- cannot be a disciple. (Luke 14:27)
- is not worthy of him. (Matt. 10:38)

SOME EASIER CASES
We tend to lose sight of the fact that an adulterous marriage is not the only relationship which would need to be separated at the cost of much emotional suffering. Some of these are :-
- an unmarried couple living together with no intention of marriage;
- a de facto relationship with one or both partners still married to someone else (possibly with children as a result of the union);
- a bigamous marriage (also possibly with children);
- a homosexual relationship.

In all of these "easier" cases, God's view of the matter is clear and the answer is clear. Separation will be a part of repentance and obedience to Jesus.

In the case of "adultery by remarriage", God's view of the situation is no different to those other cases described above. Men may regard the marriage as legal, but it is forbidden by God. If it is adultery, then repentance will mean separation.

The Gospel does offer forgiveness of sin. The sin of divorce can be forgiven. Adultery can also be forgiven. However, forgiveness does not grant a licence for a deliberate choice to continue in sin.

The choice to separate will never be easy, but real love for Jesus can rise to victory, even in something as hard as this. Under the Lordship of Jesus, grace and power are given in sufficient measure to meet any trial, triumphantly.

WITHDRAWAL OF FELLOWSHIP
This is another question which cannot be avoided. Of course, the church's goal in dealing with problems must ALWAYS be recovery of the sinner and restoration of fellowship.

However, this is not always possible. When every other avenue of prayerful counsel, encouragement and persuasion have been exhausted and the sinner remains wilfully in adultery, the Church has only one final option. That option is to resort to the withdrawal of fellowship. (1 Cor. 5,9-13).

However, it must be clear that even when it does become necessary, disfellowship is not meant to be an irreversible action. Nor can it be understood as a judgement or penalty, in the legal sense. It is meant to be done in sorrowful hope that this drastic step will give the sinner cause to appreciate just how seriously God views the situation. It is meant to be a compelling reminder of that eternal separation from God which will result on the day of judgement.

Perhaps, by this action, when all else has failed, a brother or sister can be brought to conviction and repentance and then renewal of fellowship with Jesus and his church.

Let us also be clear that the church which condones adultery, by accepting adulterers into fellowship instead of dealing with it as sin, disobeys God and denies Jesus before men.

A WARNING
No man, no group of elders, no church, has the right to give this counsel unless they also have counted for themselves the ultimate personal cost of following Jesus.

The man who has taken up his cross knows that he might one day be separated from his own wife and children by persecution, imprisonment, exile, or even martyrdom. For some, a decision to become a Christian can mean rejection by a wife and children. The disciple has already settled the question of what he must do should the occasion arise.

He is a disciple himself ...... and when he calls others to a costly entry to discipleship, he is not asking for anything which he is not prepared to give himself.

Only the man who has faced the emotional reality of the possibility of this sacrifice for himself, can begin to have the compassion needed to understand the sacrifice required by Jesus from those involved in a marriage which God does not recognise.